Oh My God
by Herochick007
Summary: God/Goddess AU: Severus, God of the Underworld is lonely. When he sees a picture of a mortal woman, he falls in love with her. Will she return the emotion?


**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters.**

**This is for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Summer Fun Fair : Northern **

****Waltzers at Hogwarts****

**[AU: God/Goddess] for the character of Severus Snape.**

**Word Count: 2598**

He was lonely. He finally had come to that realization. He, Severus, God of the Underworld, was lonely. Yes, yes, the underworld had thousands upon thousands of souls, all here for various reasons. He could torture them as he saw fit, but none of his loyal subjects... well, minions?, really liked him. They feared him, but it wasn't like the God of the Underworld could sit down and play a game of chess with one of the dead. It just wasn't done, what kind of ruler played chess, or any other game for that matter, with his subjects. No, he needed to find someone new, someone outside his domain.

He rose from his throne, walked down the mailbox and glared at it. Being the pit of eternal torment, it was always filled with junk mail. Severus pulled out those letters, threw them to the floor and set them on fire. One would think being God of anything would make him immune to this nonsense, but alas, things never worked that way. Finally he found what he was looking for crumbled in the back of the mail box. He uncrumbled the sheet of paper and read the front.

_The Godly Times: the newspaper of the Gods! _ He glared seeing Albus' smiling face on the front, bragging about something he'd done. He'd apparently interfered with some mortals again and his little hero managed to save the world. Severus rolled his black eyes. Albus was all too concerned with the affairs of mortals. His eyes landed on the picture printed with the story. Albus with his white flowy hair and fancy clothes standing next to three mortals... two males and one female.

Severus' eyes widened looking at the young woman. She was stunning. She was glaring at Albus, which only endeared her more to Severus. He knew in that moment, he had to meet her. He had to find her. Her read the whole article before giving up. No where did it mention where he could find her. He knew her name now, Hermoine. Heaving a huge sigh, he knew there was only one way to find her.

He had to visit Albus. He hated leaving his domain for any length of time. He hated how heroes always tried to break in and rescue someone they thought was wrongly there. Maybe, no, he really, really didn't want to invite Albus here... but... His eyes fell on the photo of Hermione again. He could deal with Albus for one afternoon if it got him one step closer to meeting this glorious young woman.

He quickly penned a letter to Albus inviting him for tea. He had no doubt the elder God would accept, if only for an opportunity to brag about his latest batch of heroes. Sometimes, Severus wondered if Albus was the God of meddling, not the sky.

Albus arrived in Severus' domain with a clap of thunder and some semi-impressive smoke effects. Severus tried to roll his eyes at the dramatic entrance. His were better, at least in his opinion. There was nothing like a billowing black cloak, the air chilling around a person, that made his entrances unforgettable.

"Severus, I was quite surprised to hear from you, honestly. Last I checked, you didn't care much at all about my little games in the mortal realm. You've actually gone as far as to call them, what was it? Manipulative little bits of drivel?"

"Be that as it may, I do have a few questions about your latest exploit."

"Ahh, the one with the wizards! Or at least they claim to be magic users, I think the whole lot of them are demigods, although I don't remember fathering any of them." Severus gritted his teeth as he poured the tea.

"Not every demigod is a child of yours, Albus. There are many, many other Gods, and gods, out there."

"Yes, yes, of course, now, what did you want to know about the wizards?"

"The female, Hermione."

"What about her?"

"What was she like, personality-wise?"

"She disliked me greatly at the end of the game. Thought I was just a meddling old fool," Albus laughed. Severus couldn't help but agree the girl had been right more than she realized.

"Could I meet her?" There. He'd said the words, he'd asked the question that had been on his mind all morning. Maybe if he met her, saw she was like other mortals, foolish and annoying, he could get his mind off her.

"I don't see why not, she lives in London. You could leave any time and see her." Severus fought the urge to pour hot tea on Albus.

"What era? I know you can traverse time and space as you will, it's not nearly as linear as you let the mortals believe."

"That is true, surely someone like yourself should be figure it out. I mean, you are a God, even if it is only of a dreary place like this. You know, some velvet curtains would really brighten things up, maybe in a deep plum colour, since you favor the dark theme?" Severus wondered if he poured hot tea in his ear if it would deafen him to Albus' unsolicited interior decorating advice. He highly doubted it. At least now he had a starting point to find Hermione.

"Thank you very much for coming, Albus, this was very..." he paused searching for a word that politely meant torturous.

"Slended, yes, we must do this more often Severus. It seems most everyone else has started to grow tired of my stories. Just the other day, Minerva turned herself into a cat to avoid listening to me tell her about this time in the 1700's where I convinced a young demigod to slaughter an army for me." Severus sighed.

"How impressive," he commented as Albus disappeared in a beam of light to the sound of a loud thunderclap. He sighed knowing he was only one step closer to finding the girl. London. He called up several of his subjects until one of them finally told him exactly when to find Hermione. Severus nodded, he would have to leave his second in charge for a bit, but he hoped nothing would happen while he was gone.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

London, what a dreary place, Severus thought as he strolled the streets, his black cloak billowing around him. Tonight it was nearly as dreary as his home in the underworld. He rather liked it. Back to his mission, meeting Hermione. What was he even to say to her? He was a God and he was questioning what to say to a mortal? He must be losing his mind, he thought.

According to the information he'd gathered, Hermione was working at a placed called the Ministry of Magic. He had no problem getting around their security. A simple wave of his hand and no one even noticed him. He studied the directory on the wall. Hermione Granger, third floor, room 391. He smiled. Hopefully she would still be at work, he didn't relish having to track down where she lived. He'd spent enough time on this nonsense. At least, he realized, this odd little mission had temporarily cured his boredom and taken his mind off his loneliness.

He reached the room, read her name plate on the door and knocked. The door opened and a young woman opened it. She looked him over a few times before stepping back and gesturing him inside.

"Good evening, Miss Granger."

"Who are you and what do you want?" she asked sitting back in her chair behind her desk.

"My name is Severus and I wished to meet you. I believe we both know the same person, a man named Albus?" She snorted, actually snorted with laughter.

"The meddling old fool? If you're hear about his death or you want to interview me for some newspaper, you're too late. The Quibbler already has my interview."

"No, I'm not here about an interview, Miss Granger. I've read several news stories about you and your little group of heroes. When I saw you in the paper, I knew I just had to meet you," he tried to explain as he slid into the seat across from her.

"Why?" she asked leveling her gaze at him. He could nearly hear her thoughts, her distrust of him, her curiosity.

"I knew you were different. I could tell just by looking at you. Despite what Albus might think, you're not a demigod, no, you're something else entirely."

"Demigod? Really, you think you can just show up at my office, sit down, and start talking about demigods and Albus Dumbledore? It's already been a long night."

"Join me," Severus blurted out. Hermione blinked staring at him.

"Join you where?"

"The underworld actually. Please, I've been lonely for so long, and you... something about you..." She sighed.

"Did one of the Weasleys put you up to this? It sounds like something stupid one of them might do, find a handsome guy and send him to torment me. You can leave now, Severus. I'm not interested in whatever delusion or prank you're trying to involve me in." He nodded and slowly walked to the door.

"I am the God of the Underworld, Miss Granger. Think about my offer, you could rule beside me. Anything you ever wanted, it could be yours. " Hermione sighed pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Please leave before I call security," she stated. Severus nodded sweeping from the room.

"You'll know how to find me if you chance your mind," he called before leaving entirely.

He returned to his domain and threw himself into his throne. She as perfect, she was fiery, she was brilliant, she was everything he'd ever wanted in someone. The only problem was... she was mortal. Eventually she would die, eventually... unless she would take his offer. As his queen, she would have immortality. As his queen, they would live together forever.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hermione stared at the door where her strange visitor had just stood. God of the Underworld, really? Just the thought made her want to burst out laughing. He had looked the part though, at least what she thought a God of the Underworld would look like. He was pale, wore black, had intense eyes that she could feel herself getting lost in.

She shook her head as she gathered up her things. His offer still echoing in her head. Queen of the Underworld. As if being part of the Golden Trio wasn't fame enough. He was insane, that was the only explanation she could come up with. Completely insane.

She made her way home, his voice still echoing in her ears. Queen of the Underworld. It wasn't like she was doing anything here. After the war things had... She wasn't even sure what the correct word was. Harry had married Ginny, Ron had realized he liked playing Quidditch more than perusing her.

She'd taken a low level job at the ministry, trying to work her way up. So far, she'd been passed over for three promotions and had a feeling her name was about be ignored again. What did the Queen of the Underworld even do? She wondered as she walked home to the small flat she shared with Crookshanks.

As usual, he was waiting for her and started rubbing against her ankles the moment she entered.

"I had the strangest visitor today, Crooks, he claimed to be God of the Underworld. I know, but that's exactly how he said it. I don't know, I don't think I really believe there's gods like that, but he was very interesting. He had the darkest eyes I've seen. He claimed to know Dumbledore, if you can believe that."

Crookshanks blinked at her a few times and meowed loudly for dinner. As she fed him, she thought again about Severus. How could a God know Dumbledore, he hadn't said anything when she'd referred to him as a meddling old fool. Did he agree with her? What did he think of the man anyway and why the bloody hell did she even care?

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Severus banged his head against the stone wall. It hurt, but it took his mind off the complete fiasco he'd made of his first introduction to Hermione Granger. She probably thought he was mad. Was he mad, thinking a mortal woman like her would even be interested in a God like him? What did he even have to offer her, beside eternal life? He glanced around his throne room. The black decor, the bare stone walls, did women even like that kind of thing?

He had a busy night, torturing souls and punishing the wicked, he was more ruthless that usual. His mind was still on Hermione. The way he'd felt when their eyes had connected. Had she felt it too?

He didn't need to sleep, being a God but he still retired to his private chambers each night. Let his minions think there might be a time where he wasn't watching. There were spy devices hidden though out the Underworld. A few even directed towards the mortal realm, just in case a hero decided to show up. He hated heroes!

He was watching one of the mortal entrances, sure there were a few, it was part of his contract with Albus. Heroes had to, at the very least, have a slim chance of rescuing people. Curse Albus and his obsession with heroes. If it hadn't been for him, Hermione wouldn't even be a thought in his mind.

Something caught is attention, in the corner of the viewer, a shadow? Great, what a perfect ending to the day. He sighed and teleported himself to that entrance. He would make a deal with the hero, something nearly impossible, the hero would either fail or succeed. He'd been doing this for as long as he could remember. Only one or two ever actually succeeded. He turned to look at this month's hero and blinked in shock.

"Hermione?"

"Hello, again, Severus," she smiled at him. In one hand she held a cat carrier, in the other a suitcase.

"You changed your mind. Why?"

"I don't know, something about you, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I mean, not that I believe you're a God, but something... I don't know if I want to be your Queen, rule beside you, but... I think, I would like to get to know you, at least. I know, no one leaves the Underworld, I've read the books." He graced her with a smile.

"Is that why you packed up everything, you thought if you came to see me, I would imprison you here?"

"Yes."

"And yet, you came anyway. Hermione, I could never do that to you. You would be free to come and go as you please, the same as I can. We would be equals. Do you still need all these things?" he asked gesturing to the suitcase. He barely glanced at the cat carrier.

"I guess not, if you are truly willing to let me come and go." He nodded and with a wave of a hand her suitcase disappeared.

"It'll be waiting for you in your office. This is your familiar?"

"Yes, Crookshanks. Crooks, meet Severus, the God I was telling you about." The cat whined loudly.

"I'm sure he'll be quite at home here. I do have a rat problem. Now, Hermione, would you like to see my domain?"

"Yes, I would like that very much," she replied taking his hand and allowing him to lead her into the Underworld.


End file.
